Beauty all around

I just came back from an incredible retreat.  It's impossible to sum up every moment of the trip but if I had to choose 3 phrases they would be 1.  Child exploring Abbaland 2.  Resting at sunsets 3.  The tension between two worlds.

First,  I was like a little kid when it came to finding hidden places in nature and capturing them on film.  I fell in love with the beach all over again.  Saw some pretty awesome creatures; turtles, a manatee, 2 hawks, bunnies, and I'm not sure what jumped when I ran into it with my Kayak but it was either a REALLY big fish, or a baby alligator.  I definitely cursed (always happens when I'm scared to death!). 

Then Friday night's sunset I found myself fully present with God which meant completely at rest.   To be fully present was to me to be completely alive.  

Later on, I met some new people (friends of friends) and realized that I really live in a Christian bubble and that I have to find a balance between being in the world but not of it, and being completely removed from the world.  I realized I have removed myself too much from a broken and hurting reality that revealed itself to me in a conversation about losing faith in God because of the Mayan calendar and "'try everything' because this life is all you got".  How did I get so far removed...

So that's a brief synopsis of an incredible weekend but I'll have to write more later.

  

Slip n' Slide

Does life get any better than discovering slip n' slide has water spouts?  This was one of my favorite moments of the best weekend.  My little Taylor just turned 3 and this was her first slip n' slide experience.  She helps me see the world.  I love this kid!

Living life with Boldness

I just finished attending the Orange Conference in Atlanta.  I learned SO MUCH!  One great reminder was the boldness we should have as we live out the gospel.  Franchis Chan spoke about taking risks and not letting "church people" normalize or "calm you down."  I have worked for a church for 3 years now and one thing I have learned is to ask myself this question all the time "Is the church changing you Jenny or are you changing the church?"  I have found myself compromising relationships for tasks time and time again.  Some of that comes from others expectations but when I really own up to it, the truth is, I make the decision to check things off my "to do" list rather than make a phone call and sit and listen to a leader or student who is really hurting.   I often come up with ideas and dreams in the church only to have someone tell me its not realistic and I shouldn't pursue it.  Then I find myself doing that to our volunteers and I know God does not delight in my negativity or inability to see past what is "possible."  So this is my confession and I am recognizing there is a certain amount of boldness that God instills inside of us to dream new dreams for His Kingdom and to take risks.  God is still performing miracles and wonders and I don't want to be the one who say's, "No, that's a silly idea."  So I'm praying for more boldness in speaking His Word. I am praying for more boldness in trying new things (and being okay with failure) in ministry, and I am praying for more boldness as I hear God challenge me to have faith as small as a mustard seed and to SEE the mountains move! 

I feel like I am standing on a ledge 100 feet high.  I am scared to dive head first but I am certain that's what God's asking me to do. I know there is a great freedom coming as I fall yet I hope and pray that my fear doesn't keep me standing on the ledge.