Living life with Boldness

I just finished attending the Orange Conference in Atlanta.  I learned SO MUCH!  One great reminder was the boldness we should have as we live out the gospel.  Franchis Chan spoke about taking risks and not letting "church people" normalize or "calm you down."  I have worked for a church for 3 years now and one thing I have learned is to ask myself this question all the time "Is the church changing you Jenny or are you changing the church?"  I have found myself compromising relationships for tasks time and time again.  Some of that comes from others expectations but when I really own up to it, the truth is, I make the decision to check things off my "to do" list rather than make a phone call and sit and listen to a leader or student who is really hurting.   I often come up with ideas and dreams in the church only to have someone tell me its not realistic and I shouldn't pursue it.  Then I find myself doing that to our volunteers and I know God does not delight in my negativity or inability to see past what is "possible."  So this is my confession and I am recognizing there is a certain amount of boldness that God instills inside of us to dream new dreams for His Kingdom and to take risks.  God is still performing miracles and wonders and I don't want to be the one who say's, "No, that's a silly idea."  So I'm praying for more boldness in speaking His Word. I am praying for more boldness in trying new things (and being okay with failure) in ministry, and I am praying for more boldness as I hear God challenge me to have faith as small as a mustard seed and to SEE the mountains move! 

I feel like I am standing on a ledge 100 feet high.  I am scared to dive head first but I am certain that's what God's asking me to do. I know there is a great freedom coming as I fall yet I hope and pray that my fear doesn't keep me standing on the ledge.